RECIPE 
FOR RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS

By Rev. William Claire Greiner

Colossians 3:14-17—"And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him."

I. LET THE LOVE OF CHRIST MOTIVATE YOU

Verse 14: "And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness."

Paul is speaking here of agape love — unselfish, sacrificial love. This kind of love is different from human love. Human love has limits. Human love is based on feelings, and it can be totally lost, regardless of how strong it is (the love between husbands & wives, parents and children, etc.).

God’s love is action.

John 3:16— "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

God so loved that He GAVE! What did He give? He gave HIMSELF!

Agape love is giving oneself to another person’s legitimate need. Agape love is something I not only feel, but something I do, regardless of how I feel. (See 1 Corinthians 13.) Sometimes the other person might not be too lovable, but I can choose to love Him with agape love.

Regardless of changes, it is no excuse for not loving another person.

One man described the change in his wife with the following bit of poetry:

Before I married Maggie dear
I was her pumpkin pie,
Her precious peach and honey boy,
The apple of her eye.
But after years of married life
This thought I pause to utter,
Those fancy names are now all gone,
I’m just her bread and butter.

Paul speaks of love as being a "bond of perfectness" — a bond that produces maturity and completeness. Agape love will bring wholeness to relationships.

II. LET THE PEACE OF GOD REGULATE YOU.

Verse 15: "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." Lit. "let it act as a referee . . . as an umpire . . . to call the decisions."

All too often our emotions (anger, irritability, frustrations) control our actions and responses in our relationships. When people are up-tight, they send conflicting and confusing messages.

Christians should manifest the peace of God which passes all understanding (and misunderstandings).

Philippians 4:6,7 -- "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known unto God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep [put a garrison around] your heart and mind through Christ Jesus."

Notice that Paul adds in Colossians 3:15: "and be thankful." The present tense here indicates continual action, a continual giving of thanks that becomes a habit of life.

III. LET THE WORD OF GOD PENETRATE YOU.

Verse 16: "Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."

The word "dwell" here means "to take up residence in" your heart and mind. Let the Word of God make its home in your emotions and intellect. It should have free rein in our homes. "Take up residence" suggests "total-home access"— the kitchen, the living room, the TV room ... all governed by the eternal Word of God.

"Let the Word dwell in you in all wisdom." We need the wisdom of God in our relationships and in building our families for eternity.

Proverbs 24:3 (Amplified): "Through skillful and godly wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established on a sound and good foundation. And by knowledge shall the chamber of its every area be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

James 1:5 -- "If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God, Who giveth to all men liberally."

Wisdom is needed in raising our children and in dealing with our partners.

Let the Word of God reside in your heart and home in all its richness, giving you wisdom for family living.

Then Paul adds: "Teaching and admonishing one another." This is the same thought as Ephesians 4:19: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace to the hearers."

We are to practice the ministry of edification, that of building one another up in the things of God.

Ephesians 6:4 "Bring up your children in the nurture (discipline) and admonition of the Lord."

The Bible should be our final and sole authority in life and in our relationships. How many of us are so living that our children & grandchildren will remember us by our faithfulness to the God’s Word?

IV. LET THE LORDSHIP OF CHRIST ACTIVATE YOU.

Verse 17: "And whatsoever (no matter what it is) you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus (under His authority), giving thanks to God and the Father by Him."

The Lordship of Christ will activate us to obedience. It will cause us to be submissive and grateful. For Jesus to be Lord means He is at the center. He is the hub of the wheel.

Paul goes on in the next verses of chapter 3 to talk about our responsibilities in our relationship, in particular the home, where Jesus Christ reigns as Lord.

 

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