TIPS FOR COMMUNICATION

I. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY (YOUR WORDS)

7% OF COMMUNICATION IS THROUGH 
ACTUAL WORDS SPOKEN.

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Proverbs 25:11).

"Grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1b).

  • Choose your words carefully.
  • Avoid butting in.
  • Avoid nagging (the act of reminding  someone to do something when you know he or she hasn't forgotten).
  • Avoid quarrels.
  • Ignore insults.
  • Be considerate, patient and kind.

"A fool uttereth all his mind: but awise man keepeth it till afterward"(Proverbs 29:11).

II. WATCH HOW YOU SAY IT (YOUR TONE OF VOICE)

38% OF COMMUNICATION IS THROUGH 
THE TONE OF VOICE.

"A soft answer turneth away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1).

"Speak the truth in love(Ephesians 4:15).

  • Wrap your words in the proper tone of voice.
  • Avoid hysterics.
  • Don’t yell, mumble, ramble, talk too fast, or speak inaudibly.
  • Avoid sarcastic inflections.

"A soft tongue breaketh the bone"(Proverbs 25:15).

III. WATCH HOW YOU SAY IT (YOUR ACTIONS)

55% OF COMMUNICATION IS THROUGH ACTIONS.


"A wicked man walketh with a perverse mouth. 
He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, 
he teacheth with his fingers" (Proverbs 6:12,13).
  • Facial Expressions (smile, show interest)
  • Gestures (open, warm, natural, welcoming)
  • Eye Contact (look into other’s eyes)
  • Posture (relax, lean toward other person)
  • Physical Contact (soft touch, hand clasp)

Negative actions include frowning, avoiding eye contact, angry gestures, glaring, turning away, crying, tenseness.

WE OFTEN SEND CONFUSING MESSAGES BECAUSE OUR NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS CONTRADICT OUR WORDS.
IV. WATCH WHEN YOU SAY IT (YOUR TIMING)

"A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth; 
and a word spoken in due season, how good it is" (Proverbs 15:23).
  • Don’t try to solve problems if you are hungry, exhausted, upset, or have a limited time before an appointment.
  • Define the issue so you both will know what is involved.
  • Set a definite time. The word later is not sufficient.
  • Think through what you want to say and how you want to say it.
  • Be prayerful.

"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips"(Psalm 141:3).

 

COMMUNICATION CHECK LIST

Which of the following do I use in communication?

POSITIVE TACTICS

  • Attentiveness

  • Understanding

  • Patience

  • Kindness

  • Warm gestures

  • Eye contact

  • Sharing of blame

  • Sincere smile

  • Soft voice

  • Well chosen words

  • Good timing

  • Closeness

  • Self control

  • Prayer

NEGATIVE TACTICS

  • Angry gestures

  • Sarcasm

  • Excessive talking

  • Fake smile

  • Avoid eye contact

  • Silence, sulking

  • Butting in

  • Changing subject

  • Dragging out "dirty linen."

  • Pretending to be absorbed with TV

  • Pretending to be asleep

  • Faking a headache or fatigue

  • Refusing to talk about the matter

  • Loud voice

  • Crying

  • Excuses

  • Shifting blame

  • Nagging

  • Belittling

  • Nervous laugh

  • Keep distance

THOUGHTS ON COMMUNICATION

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. —Nevill

Never hold any one by the button or the hand in order to be heard out; for if people are unwilling to hear you, you had better hold your tongue than them. —Chesterfield

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they would like to say something. —Plato

The talkative listen to no one, for they are ever speaking. — And the first evil that attends those who know not how to be silent, is that they hear nothing. —Plutarch

We often say things because we can say them well, rather than because they are sound and reasonable. —Landor

The more ideas a man has the fewer words he takes to express them. Wise men never talk to make time; they talk to save it. —Esek

 

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
IS IT KIND?
IS IT TRUE?
IS IT NECESSARY?

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